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Slide 1: "What is that foul smell"? A cornmon question to those who don't know how to wipe their butts. My mother didn't have to tell me twice to put on clean drawers. When I wipe my ~ rear end I take extra precautions. It starts with the amount rf fe~at II is being forced out. .Following the flow is the ~iPe, a crucial part of life. When its t~ tIme to wipe, I slide the tissue - ,------,-. ,-~ down as if it were a rockslide, making sure everything in its pajh is picked up, even the corn. ! ~.r,~. Wiping the butt is a skill that may take time for beginners, incfuding teenagers and adults. , Keeping it clean allows the butt to breathe freely, also letting/the legs move gracefully. Secondly) • it saves you from being uncomfortable and embarrassed in public. A person must not leave the ('?..,..::;:i~ house without the proper butt wiping etiquette. Knowing how to wipe the butt correctly is important than having fresh breath on a first date. ore ~ -~ 'j-hl'~~~ Pw?-P JM-, Allowing the butt to breathe means a great deal when the weather is hot. If not wearing f tightey whit y's-t~e butt muscle tends to relax. Now after ~ours of heat it is not so easy to hold C/ I the cheeks closed and gas will come out so loud it will sound like a round-of-applause. A If the -}-vt -;,IV 1"'1 I') . -h../j ~ K-YtAJ-"-7f C.c..~r butt is breathing, clean air would block the path of the-boo boo' ntil there is a horne to do what ? needs to be done. It is important to let the butt breathe in and out as if it's in ~:Lamaze class, so you can jump, skip, twist and shout, and even a little-yoga. Secondly, a good wiping or two saves a person from an uncomfortable situation. For example when relaxing with friends or being lazy everything seems ok, but when talking in front of a group in a meeting or church, there can be a sudden sharp pain in the butt. The pain will
Slide 2: lead to an unbearable itch that you can't scratch because for some reason everyone's eyes are watching you and your hands, even if you are off to the side or behind a counter in the back of the room. If out of Preparation H or Vaseline there will be a problem getting rid of the itch if there isn't a house within the next five miles and the pain will just increase. Lastly clean drawers;rescuej a person from embarrassment. I remember how parents would tell their children to put on clean Sesame Street underwear because if they were in an accident the medics would talk about them and their doo-doofied underwear. My neighbor once told my friend and me that the doctors would cut open the patients cloth~ and if they found boo boo they might call the bomb squad from boo boo planet and would tell the person to wait until the people withOUT insurance were taken care of. Also for those people who pull one night stands it is necessary to keep on clean drawers just in case the drawers come off and has the whole room smelling like booty and corn chips. In the event a lady is wearing a skirt and it was to fly up by wind, if she has on light colored panties with skid marks, she would most likely have to move from one country to another and join the UWPP (Underwear Witness Protection Program). The same goes for men who wear their pants too low. I've lost many friends in the UWPP. I --~ /41~ - b(~ _. I {~cfo;r; k a!I" n .r1 h.7CV!{",,"s...-t:r ~ , - Now that there is a legitimate reason to have on clean drawers there)is an accurate way to ~ f1"~f!t'(,.~ keep them for at least a year with the "real leather and new t' -1hf:T smell". In t ,.Ibeginning it will UASS' ?:/"... feel uncomfortable and slight ticklish but will go away once its done correctly. Take one square(two-ply) to the feel the thickness of the tissue, this will determine how many wipes and how relaxed it will feel. Charmin tissue is perfect: it will seem like a cloud is under the toosh. When doing the number two, do not rush it with all the grunting and moaning, let it slide so it doesn't splat all over your cheeks. After finishing the number two, most people
Slide 3: will stand up and wipe and fold, fold and wipe, then throw the tissue away and get on with their business. This is where the problem begins, missing the cavity of the gluteus maximus and most likely smearing "it" over or near the genitals. Wiping the butt requires a few good, hard wipes, kl7 enough to stress a person and bring out the BIG vein in ~ pain it c~ forehead, but don't worry about the be walked off. First grab the Lysol Air Spray (if in my house), an AMIFM radio with air conditioner, three magazines and red pen, and break the window with a rock. After the finishing the number two (or three), stand up, then lean at the waist to 135 degree angel or until the cheeks spread apart and you are able to make a clear wipe from one end, across the grain, to \l\l,y/t /~ \ he other end of the anus. Swipe.th issue through as if it's two or three bad credit cards, with_ "1 two____ or three different handfuls of tissue. Afterwards, jump in the shower with your back facing the nozzle. Turn the water on sizzling hot; just don't get a first-degree bum or your butt will be scared for life. Again lean at the waist to 135 degrees to allow the water to run from the small...Qf the back between the cheeks and down the drain. I recommend this shower so that everything will be alright, like it never happened. Subsequently, because 99.999 percent of the world do not know how to clean their backside the earth and the ozone is clogged up with a foul smell that is polluting the air. When people do not wipe well, they do not like to use the bathroom and feces builds in their intestines and it will look like if they had a booty in the front of their stomach, and who knows what to do r:J with it. In the event you are caught with your pants down for whatever reason, you will not be embarrassed because of the clean tightey whitey's on the rump. Ultimately, the outcome of a clean shine on the posterior, can provide a purified, safe environment, for you and your loved ones. (