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Slide 1: How to Forgive After an Affair - Here is a Method You May Not Be Aware of http://www.marriage-sherpa.info It is not always easy to figure out how to forgive after an affair. The pain and suffering you feel when a spouse has been unfaithful is devastating and not something to easily overcome. You may be wondering if forgiving an affair is indeed a necessary step in repairing your relationship.
Slide 2: An angle that many men or women who have experienced infidelity do not realize is that forgiveness often times is more for your own benefit than for that of your cheating spouse. You may want to read that sentence again.
Slide 3: An angle that many men or women who have experienced infidelity do not realize is that forgiveness often times is more for your own benefit than for that of your cheating spouse. You may want to read that sentence again. The stress and mental anguish that often accompanies a spouse’s affair can manifest itself in physical ways. In fact, the longer your anguish persists, the more damaging the effects can be.
Slide 4: An angle that many men or women who have experienced infidelity do not realize is that forgiveness often times is more for your own benefit than for that of your cheating spouse. You may want to read that sentence again. The stress and mental anguish that often accompanies a spouse’s affair can manifest itself in physical ways. In fact, the longer your anguish persists, the more damaging the effects can be. When you experience stress, the body releases powerful chemicals that are indeed essential to your survival in highly stressful situations. But the longer they are produced, the more harmful they become to you and your body will suffer the effects. High blood pressure is just one of many examples. From a psychological standpoint, depression is often a common development.
Slide 5: But you may be reading this and saying to yourself that you just don’t think you can get yourself to forgive your spouse for what they did. You simply do not know how you could get yourself to forgive after an affair.
Slide 6: But you may be reading this and saying to yourself that you just don’t think you can get yourself to forgive your spouse for what they did. You simply do not know how you could get yourself to forgive after an affair. Quite honestly, maybe your spouse does not deserve to be forgiven at this time. But, as I stated earlier, forgiveness is often times more for your benefit than for your spouse and for your own well being you must come to terms with it in some fashion.
Slide 7: But you may be reading this and saying to yourself that you just don’t think you can get yourself to forgive your spouse for what they did. You simply do not know how you could get yourself to forgive after an affair. Quite honestly, maybe your spouse does not deserve to be forgiven at this time. But, as I stated earlier, forgiveness is often times more for your benefit than for your spouse and for your own well being you must come to terms with it in some fashion. So let’s look at a method that will help you as opposed to simply outright forgiving them and help to get you back on the right track and indeed improve your overall health and mindset.
Slide 8: Acceptance: An Alternative to Help Escape from the Turmoil In his book, How to Survive an Affair, Dr. Frank Gunzburg introduces an alternative to forgiveness that he calls acceptance. Essentially, this means coming to terms with that which you cannot change. You can’t change the reality of your spouse’s affair no matter how much you may want to. But you can accept this awful past so you can move on toward a brighter future, and doing so may diminish your stress levels a great deal.
Slide 9: Acceptance: An Alternative to Help Escape from the Turmoil In his book, How to Survive an Affair, Dr. Frank Gunzburg introduces an alternative to forgiveness that he calls acceptance. Essentially, this means coming to terms with that which you cannot change. You can’t change the reality of your spouse’s affair no matter how much you may want to. But you can accept this awful past so you can move on toward a brighter future, and doing so may diminish your stress levels a great deal. To use this method to help you through your current state, here are a few steps to get you started:
Slide 10: 1. Name Your Pain When you are ready to move forward and restore your well being and indeed leave behind the negative and unhealthy feelings, one of the first steps you can take is to actually name the emotions you are feeling. This is a way to acknowledge and identify exactly how and what you are feeling at this time.
Slide 11: 1. Name Your Pain When you are ready to move forward and restore your well being and indeed leave behind the negative and unhealthy feelings, one of the first steps you can take is to actually name the emotions you are feeling. This is a way to acknowledge and identify exactly how and what you are feeling at this time. Ask yourself what thoughts or feelings are tormenting you? Are you feeling anger? Disappointment? Despair? Jealousy? What thoughts are directed towards your spouse and what visual plays through your mind when they do?
Slide 12: 2. Process Your Emotions Once you have identified the emotions you are feeling, you need to process them. To this point, you have probably been suppressing them and stuffing them away. You need to address them and come to terms to help your own well being. Here are a few techniques that will help you do just that:
Slide 13: 1. Breathe Take a few minutes to breathe deeply. Focus on the air coming into your body and think about what it feels like as it passes through your nostrils. As you exhale, let go of all the tension in your body and say the word “relax” to yourself. This technique alone can have a very positive impact on your health.
Slide 14: 1. Breathe Take a few minutes to breathe deeply. Focus on the air coming into your body and think about what it feels like as it passes through your nostrils. As you exhale, let go of all the tension in your body and say the word “relax” to yourself. This technique alone can have a very positive impact on your health. 2. Distract Yourself If you can’t breathe through your emotions, distract yourself from them. Brooding tends to amplify negative feelings. Try taking a time out from life. You might go for a jog, go see a funny movie, or take a long, hot bath.
Slide 15: 1. Breathe Take a few minutes to breathe deeply. Focus on the air coming into your body and think about what it feels like as it passes through your nostrils. As you exhale, let go of all the tension in your body and say the word “relax” to yourself. This technique alone can have a very positive impact on your health. 1. Distract Yourself If you can’t breathe through your emotions, distract yourself from them. Brooding tends to amplify negative feelings. Try taking a time out from life. You might go for a jog, go see a funny movie, or take a long, hot bath. 1. Talk it out with a Friend If you can’t rely on your spouse, you may be able to talk to a trusted friend instead. Getting your emotions off your chest this way can be a big advantage.
Slide 16: 3. Accept When You are Ready The process of acceptance does not necessarily have a timeline attached to it. You will come to terms with these emotions as you are ready to do so. This generally occurs once you have a firm understanding of what emotions you are feeling and realize just how they are affecting you.
Slide 17: 3. Accept When You are Ready The process of acceptance does not necessarily have a timeline attached to it. You will come to terms with these emotions as you are ready to do so. This generally occurs once you have a firm understanding of what emotions you are feeling and realize just how they are affecting you. As you work through the affair and it starts to move to the back of your mind, you may feel yourself moving toward acceptance. Don’t block this progress because you think you “should” still feel bad about the affair. Do what is right for you and your marriage, and only you can know what that is.
Slide 18: If you are not sure just how to forgive after an affair, then acceptance may be the answer for you. However, this is just one very small step to repairing the damage done. To restore yourself, rebuild the trust, and save your marriage from divorce I strongly recommend for you to download this 7-Part course from Dr. Frank Gunzburg. Click here now for instant access: http://www.marriage-sherpa.info. Taylor Ranidae is passionate about love and relationships and writes articles focusing on helping people save their relationships and marriages. Her articles are a must read for anyone who is looking to either salvage or further enhance their relationship.