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Successful Mind Management http://amzn.to/yqOeIB

 

 
 
Tags:  mega mind  mind body online  no mind  your subconscious mind 
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Published:  February 28, 2012
 
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Slide 1: ==== ==== Achieve Success, Confidence And Happiness. http://amzn.to/yqOeIB ==== ==== In a book I wrote on contextual communication, I came up with several communication tools to help in our continuous awareness improvement program of thinking before receiving. One of these tools is called The 3-Piles Mind Management. Let's take a look at it and how it can help us improve our communication. First let's understand what 'contextual' means: this is what we find within our sentences, paragraphs, discourses, etc., immediately next to or surrounding any specified word or passage that determines its exact meaning. It is what sets out the whole situation, background, or environment relevant to a particular event, subject, personality, etc. Contextual is of, depending on, or belonging to the context. (Example: to quote a remark out of context). To be able to understand and use The 3-Piles Mind Management tool, we need to break down in our minds the contextual part of our communication. The way we communicate now is from a mingled context in our minds which is usually unknown to us at the moment. Someone says something, we hear what we want and respond to that. We hear what we want because we have become slaves to our unorganized mental material of communication. This material needs to be separated into three "piles" in our mind, sorted and clarified, because this is exactly at which point our communication breaks down. For instance, someone (the Sender) makes a statement about an issue. The other (the Receiver) replies. The Sender states something else and the Receiver rebuts on that expression, his mind taking off away from the original subject matter. The Sender continues his/her dialogue on the original issue, but the Receiver now is talking about the issue that he/she stated in rebuttal to the original issue. They will never be able to come to an understanding because the misunderstanding gap continues to widen as they speak -- unless someone realizes it, arrests it and restates the original issue and both agree to get back on the original track. Here is an example of a true case: A talk show host (the Sender) said that those who belly-ache about the government's' 20% welfare cuts are losers. A caller (the Receiver) replies that these people are not losers, they are victims -- they are people who have no money and no job, etc. and in need of assistance. The host then retorts that these people should get a job. The caller says there are no jobs. The host replies that this country has more opportunities than any other country and gives examples of poverty, oppression and wars going on abroad. The caller replies that this country is just as bad as any other, giving examples of the lack of government support and handouts in healthcare and welfare, etc., which the host rebuts...
Slide 2: Now, the argument is over a comparison of countries -- and no longer about the belly-achers. The conversation took a wrong turn. The original issue which is still in the mind of the Sender is changed to a different issue in the mind of the Receiver. Both argue from a different "point of view". The Sender's context is different from the Receiver's context. Another example: Two people talk about a quality control issue. The marketing manager (the Sender) brings up a customer's complaint of a faulty switch, to the production people. The production manager (the Receiver) takes a look at the switch and states that the problem comes from a certain worker's station. The production manager confides that there is a long-standing issue with this incompetent employee which is not dealt with by management. The marketing manager asks how the situation can be rectified (with the customer focus in mind). But the production manager replies that he can't do anything about it until the individual is terminated by top management -- his focus is now switched on internal problems. The sales department needs to satisfy the customer. Customers don't care about internal problems -- they want the service or product they paid for. The argument continues, both people talking from a different point of view -- or from a different context. The misunderstanding gap will grow wider until someone brings the conversation back on track. Ideally this is done at the first sign or indication of departure from the original focus. It is when neither communicator does anything about it, that critical situations develop; this usually happens when the communicators have no knowledge or training in communication. We are often caught unprepared, and we leave it because we don't really know how to go about it. We simply don't know how to find out where the communication went wrong in the first place. That's the purpose of this 3-Piles Mind Management tool: to make us aware of these critical points so that we can do something about them. Sorting 3-Piles in our mind when first engaging in communication is easy. We simply do the same as when we sort out the piles of accumulated papers on our desk after a three-week holiday. Time management seminars have taught us a little trick to remove these paper mountains: we make three piles -- first priority, second priority, third priority -- and begin to place each piece on its respective pile. In the same way, we mentally compartmentalize three "piles" of focus of arguments. Depending on which side we happen to be on (sometimes the Sender, sometimes the Receiver), here is how this works: When I'm the Sender: First pile = what is the issue at hand (the focus of argument) Second pile= where am I in relation to the issue at hand Third pile = where is the receiver in relation to the issue at hand When I'm the Receiver: First pile = what is the issue at hand (the focus of argument) Second pile= where am I in relation to the issue at hand Third pile = where is the sender in relation to the issue at hand Once this sorting is done, we can easily and quickly recognize and understand the key context of
Slide 3: critical areas as we carry out the process of communication. The "key" context is always the first Pile: What is the issue or subject at hand? Or what is the focus of argument? Often, communication is misunderstood because the Sender or Receiver acts his/her part under the influence of the current moment. How many times have you heard someone say one thing and, later on, say another totally different thing about the same matter, which may now sound even contradictory? The reason why it sounds contradictory to the Receiver (or listener) is because his/her focus is still on the original subject situation, while in the Sender's mind the situation has changed. For example, I remember talking to an individual who said she had no money (focus of argument). The very next day, she offered to lend me some money because I indicated I liked a certain item but didn't have the money to buy it. Same subject, now contradictory. My awareness of the focus of argument told me that the context of the focus of argument had changed. As the Receiver my 3-Piles were sorted this way in my mind: First pile: What is the issue at hand: money. Second pile: As the Receiver, where am I in relation to the issue at hand: -In the middle of a contradiction. Third pile: Where is the Sender in relation to the issue at hand: -Causing a contradictory situation. So my question then is, "Why is there a contradiction here?" In this case the context in the mind of the Sender has changed. I can figure this out by myself or I can say, "I thought you said yesterday that you had no money". And the explanation will come out from the Sender which will show that the context of the money issue was now different. "Yest but...", will be the answer. In the first place she was referring to not enough money to lend to a certain group of people that did not have a good repayment reputation; the risk was too high or personal benefit to low. But in the other context, there was a friendship that was worth the generosity or sacrifice. If something does not add up during communication, don't get offended thinking the person is lying or is confused. Instead, analyze the situation that raised the question in your mind. If you have to, ask questions; ask what was meant by a particular statement that confused or offended you. Be sure the timing is right though -- in a hot argument, this might have to wait for a more appropriate moment. Don't assume or leave it for too long unexplained. Then be prepared to listen by visualizing the 3-Piles Mind Management tool in your mind./dmh Diane M. Hoffmann is the founder of Hoffmann-Rondeau Communications and the web site
Slide 4: http://communication-verbal-nonverbal.com which is the home of her e-books "Improve Communication, Verbal and Nonverbal" and "Improve Communication, Organization and Training" as well as her 296-page printed book "Contextual Communication, Organization and Training". You may reprint this article making sure to include this bio with no changes. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Dr._Diane_Hoffmann ==== ==== Achieve Success, Confidence And Happiness. http://amzn.to/yqOeIB ==== ====

   
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